June 24, 2008: Definition of a Relics Fan Before I get started on the criteria for being an official Relics fan, I’d like to take a moment to dispel the egregious idea that being a “relic” is a negative thing. If you take a moment to check out the official #1 Webster’s definition of a “relic”, it means: “an object esteemed and venerated because of association with a saint or martyr”. I kind of like the “esteemed and venerated” part. Now, while I’ve never been depicted as being any kind of saint, my wife has been known to accuse me of being a martyr (particularly when she asks me to do some household task that could easily be procrastinated about for another decade or two) the morning after a band gig. Or, even the afternoon after a band gig. Or, two days after a band gig. I suppose some of our detractors (and yes, I’m sure we have our detractors….but you’re encouraged to spit on them) might choose the alternative definition of a “relic”: “a survivor or remnant left after decay, disintegration or disappearance” Actually, on the morning after a band gig I could easily be described as a decaying and disintegrating remnant and I’d guess I bear a strong resemblance to Keith Richards from what I see in the mirror. I have to wear a disguise, just to go out and get the paper. However, before I digress too far, here are the simple qualifications for being a true Relics fan: You love to dance and don’t care what anybody thinks about the way you look while you’re dancing (Chris has told me I look like I’m having some kind of grand mal seizure when I’m “busting my moves”). You like all kinds of rock n roll songs, as long as you can recognize it and/or dance to it, from Prohibition to the start of the 21st century. You like to sing along at the top of your lungs and aren’t particularly concerned about what anyone thinks, even if it means risking arrest for disturbing the peace and making dogs howl. You’re willing to stay out past 11PM……despite the fact that you’re usually asleep by then…..with the remote still clutched in your hand. You hate rap music. I mean you reeeeeeeeally hate it. So, there you are. And you only need to meet 3 of the 5 qualifications (with a bonus for meeting the 5th criteria). So, until I feel the need to ramble again, ROCK ON ! -- Pepper